Trick Dating

So I've recently come across some of the tricks that guys play to get the girls to go out with them.
I am a fan of the dating game, (a meet-cute, leads to a crush, then date, fall in love and marry... that kinda stuff) but hate that many guys are out their cheating to get girls to fall into relationships; so genuinely nice guys who actually like girls are short handed in such a situation.

Here's the detail of  'The Trick' that guys are using now-a-days. They use this trick not only on single girls, but also on girls who might be in a happy relationship (long-distance or not, doesn't matter). I know guys who have actually done this while they were "supposedly" in a committed relationship with another girl. It is the most commonly used and probably the most effective trick out there being used by guys in colleges (mostly) and is broken down into following steps-

Step 1. They usually go for the girl that they see everyday. Like a classmate in college or a co-worker.

Step 2. They build a friendship with the girl. (No harm in that. Make as many girl-friends as you like. Even I have a healthy number of girls as friends). How they do this? If the girl stays mostly with a group of girls, then the guy will get close to all the girls in the group. He then takes a week or two, choosing the best girl from the group. By 'best' I mean the one he believes is a little less mature and more likely to fall for his trick.

Step 3. They become the girl's best friend. Talking with them every single day for more than a few hours. Getting to know everything there is to know about that girl. Sharing secrets from the start just so the girl will trust them. Even if they are friends with the whole group of girls there is only one girl in the group who knows his secrets (By Chance? No way! Planned move? You bet!). Now personally I don't do that unless I want to be just friends with the girl. Even then I don't share all my secrets too soon. If I have a crush on someone, it is likely that though I would love to talk to them for hours, I don't really get the time to do it often.
Why is this a trick? Bad boys do not make girls their friends. Genuine nice guys though like to be friends with girls will usually have a best friend that is a guy. The guys using this trick have a guy best friend but will become an important part of the girl's daily routine and are not really her best friend. If anything they probably tell everything the girl tells them, to their guy friend and laugh at the stuff together. Really shy guys don't even talk to girls all that much; speaking when spoken to and making acquaintances at the most.

Step 4. Wait till the time the girl starts to love their company so much that she starts missing them if they don't talk to her every day. Its actually not that the girl misses them, its that she starts to wonder why he is suddenly not talking to them as much as he used to. Why would he pull away for no reason what so ever. They've gotten used to their daily talking about their feeling with the guy. Its not the guy they miss, its the guy's ability to listen, his advice giving and caring nature, and the routine. And YES, this nature can be faked by guys; girls can fake other stuff (if you know what I mean) guys can fake-care.

Step 5. This is the main step. When the guy realizes the power he now has he starts to pull away just a little. Like not talking for just a day. This makes the girl crazy. It makes her think why the talks have lessened and all other types of questions. Why in the beginning, no matter how busy he was, he always had time to talk to her about every single thing in his daily life (Not true. He would never tell you everything that goes on in his mind. He will tell you what he thinks he needs to tell you to gain your trust, to make you see he is a nice trustworthy kinda guy.) and why suddenly he is busy these days and doesn't have time to talk.

Step 6. This is when the guy proposes her. It may happen a few days after they became best friends, a few months, or even a year after (at the max). It makes her think. Her reply is usually "I don't wanna ruin our friendship. I just want to be friends with you. You are my best friend etc. etc.". This reply is usually expected by the guy. Unless the feeling is mutual (and genuine) from the start, the guy usually expects this.

Step 7. Now starts the second main step of the trick. He goes out of touch with her. No he doesn't play hard to get. He absolutely refuses to talk to her. Tells her he can't talk to her. Tells her he can't be "just friends" with her anymore. What happens because of this? The girl goes to her girl-friends for advice, and most of them being the emotional beings that girls are, they advice the girl to try and talk to the guy and try and make him her friend again. During the same time the guy is busy putting up "Senti status" on facebook. Sending "senti- smses" to the mutual friends (basically girls) he shares with the girl. This is again a trick! It doesn't matter how long the guy is away. There are chances it may be months before he talks to the girl again (because he knows that whatever the case may be, she will eventually talk to him).

Step 8. The girl talks to the guy, almost pleading him to be "just friends" with her again. He absolutely refuses. Then he slyly says that he will try. No he won't. He's got the same agenda as before- To trick you. So now the girl and the guy start talking again on a daily basis with the same frequency that they shared in the beginning.
The girl thinks it was a phase for the guy. But is wasn't a phase. What the guy has really done so far is:
 a) Became one of the most important part of the girl's life. The girl probably loves the routine, the shoulder always there to cry on, and the ear always ready to listen.
 b) In his absence, made her miss him like crazy. The girl misses all the talking and sharing.
 c) Told her that he likes her as something more than a friend. This ignites confusion in the girl about what she feels for him. Was all the talking they did really love like he says. (I think NOT!)
 d) He pulled away from her because it was too painful for him to be "just" her friend. Bullshit! It makes the girl miss him. Giving her a false sense of love, and confusing her further.
 e) Now that the girl is talking to him again, this means she thinks its okay if he says stuff like "you are mine" or "I hate that guy and how close you are to him" or my personal favorite "That guy is not good for you" in case he sees another guy as a threat, because she thinks he is just expressing himself. He for no apparent reason, out of the blue, sometimes while wishing her a good night, says to her: "I love you" or most likely its varied versions, like: "luv u", "love u", "ILU", "<3" and so on. This makes the girl think about her feelings. She never says it back to the guy. He doesn't expect it and doesn't stop saying it even if she tells him that she doesn't feel the same way. He is busy planning the next move, he doesn't care if you don't say it back right now.

Step 9. The final step in the trick. The Re-Proposal. Taking advantage of all the confusion that he has generated in the girl's mind and the hold he has on her emotionally, and the fact that she wanted to make him talk to her again and pleaded her to be in her life once more, he proposes the girl again. That's right! Even after being rejected by the girl the first time he proposes her. Even after knowing that the girl wants to be just friends with him, he proposes her. And the magic happens. She accepts!

How? What he does is, wait for an opportune moment for the re-proposal. Maybe a parting after college ends, a party where they go together, some where they are alone, or maybe once again over the phone. He tells her some bullshit, the crux of which is, making her believe that "What we have is love and not friendship". This time, the girl accepts. Why?
  1) She thinks it wasn't a phase for him. He must like her to be able to find the courage like this to propose to her again. Bullshit! I could go to any girl and tell her "I love you", and not genuinely mean it and not even give my lie away. In such a situation I would be confident and not nervous at all. A real admission of feeling is one where the guy is nervous, is forced by his best friends to go to the girl, legs becoming water and buckling underneath when saying the actual words and talking to the girl, because there is fear of rejection in his heart, no matter how cool he thinks he is with the ladies (has happened only once with me, not too long ago... Does not apply to bad "douche-bag" boys).
  2) He is telling her the truth because has never lied to her before, right? WRONG! He has always lied to her, she just didn't see it then. She can't differentiate between his lies and his truths because she's never seen him say the truth about his feelings or doesn't want to admit that he would lie to her about his feelings.
  3) He IS her best friend, and all those Bollywood movies she's been watching since childhood have told her that love starts with friendship, right? WRONG! Love starts when the feeling is mutual. NOT when the guy loves her, and she wanted him as a friend for life. She thinks that he means it. And we all know that 'marry the one who loves you, not the one you love'. But the truth is 'marry the one who loves you and whom you love as much in return'.
This is the start of their "relationship", and the end of his "trick". The relationship will end one day. No marriage for them. Break-up is inevitable. It may last a few months, a few years, but it will end. Most likely the day the guy finds a new "target".

The trick is plain. Its simple. Its elegant. And yet it makes me nauseous to see what guys do. They give all guys a bad name. Treat women like objects for all their life and get away with it. They don't suffer after the breakup;the girl does, and she blames all men of being the same. How could you know we are the same if you've only ever met a vermin like this guy? The bad part about this is for the guy who may fall for his best friend, and might be seen as a degenerate if she has previously gone through a similar situation that ended badly.

Cheers to the guys out there that genuinely like a girl and don't play such dirty games to get them and actually have a heart! and I feel your pain Bro! Stay strong, the girl for you is out there, and if you are lucky will not fall for her best-guy-friend's tricks. Keep a lookout if you are in a relationship; There might just be a guy-friend out there who is ready to ruin your happiness with your girl.