Books

A list of all the books I've read!

Novels
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone- 12 times
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- 10 times
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban- 15 times
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- 5 times
Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix- 8 times
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince- 4 times
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- 6 times
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes; The Sign of Four; The Importance of being Earnest; The Hunchback of Notre-Dame; Wuthering Heights; The Invisible Man; The Three Musketeers; Murder on the Orient Express; Cat among the pigeons; Zero Percentile 2.0- Missed IIT Kissed Gurgaon; Grimm's Fairy Tales; The Grand Design; Theory of Everything; The Casual Vacancy; Jane Eyre; Fantastic beasts and where to find them; Quidditch through the ages; Confessions of an American Sikh; Robinson Crusoe; The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes; Kidnapped; The Hounds of Baskervilles; The Count of Monte Cristo; I never thought I could fall in love; Ivanhoe; Frankenstein; The return of Sherlock Holmes; The adventures of Tom Sawyer; Around the world in 80 days; The Adventures of Dr. Dolittle; A brief history of time; The theory of everything; The monk who sold his ferrari; The curious case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; The scarlet letter; Gulliver's travels; Treasure island; The adventures of Huckleberry Finn; The time machine; Oliver twist; The great Gatsby; Ulysses

Comic Books
Chacha Choudhary
Billoo
Superman
Batman
Spiderman
The uncanny X-Men
Thor
Ironman
Hulk

Blunders of Brainstorm

So I recently came across this company's website while going through my LinkedIn updates. The company claims it is going to do something that I don't think any company in India has done so far. The name of the company-

Brainstorm Innovation


Their posts on LinkedIn read-
"Want to master in the field of Matlab....as well as want to do Projects in Different Domains of Matlab .Brainstorm Is coming to meet you in your doorsteps with different Internet based applications"
(sic)

"Greetings from BrainStormInnovation E-Learning,Product based company.we are group of members working in MNC...We are providing MATLAB Online Training contact:brainstorminnovation@gmail.com

MATLAB TRAINING COURSES ARE:
1.DIPLOMA IN BASICS OF MATLAB
2.ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN DIP
3.ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN DSP
4.ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN BIO-MEDICAL IMAGING
5.ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS
Contact us to get syllabus and quote "

(sic)

Which means that they plan to provide online classes in MATLAB, OpenCV in the fields- DIP, DSP, Communication Systems, Bio-Metrics, Bio-Medical etc. (and probably wanting to make their company famous at the international level at some point as this was posted in the MATLAB Users group on LinkedIn).

So I took a little closer look at their LinkedIn profile, posts and their company's official website.

What I saw nearly saddened me, but made me laugh at the same time.

Check out the discussion in the comment section of theirs first post on LinkedIn here and the second post here.

The link to their official (but said to be temporary) website.

The image of their official logo.

Now read the details on the four links above very carefully.

If you are good in English I'm sure they'll make you laugh too. The lack of grammar, punctuation, capitalization of first alphabets of a new sentence are all very amusing. The best of all was the home page of the website, which also made me a little worried about the company and can be seen in the image below:

1. The logo of the company is "BL". Why would "Brainstorms Innovation" have a logo saying "BL"?

2. The name of the company is "Brainstorm Innovation" so why is it written as "Brainstrom" on the company website?

I then found out the following details about their course via email:

Course fees: 16,000      

( There is actually no mention if this amount is in Rupees, Dollars, Euros, Pounds, Dinars or what, but I assume it to be in Rupees.)

Total duration: 65 hours
and lectures through Skype.

Now normally I would not mind doing such a course but when I saw the fees which was almost double the fees of what some centers with certification courses take for a similar duration course and let you have access to their computers, study materials, and any hardware that you may require. Compared to that the fee for sitting in my home, using my own internet, and learning should be much less, in my opinion.

And then there is the doubt on the authentication of the website and the company. I mean i'm sure they didn't mean to purposefully add the mistakes I just highlighted above, but a company that has a logo that doesn't correspond to their name, a website with the wrong name of their own company, feels a little suspicious to me. So to dispel my doubts I thought I'd check out the location of the company and confirm one way or the other whether it was a sham or not.

What I saw shocked me!

The contact details written on their website are as follows:

Tel: 91-8428049258

Email: brainstorminnovation@gmail.com

Adress: Online contact is enough.Location at bangalore

(sic)

Now you can see the following errors. "Adress" is missing a 'd', "bangalore" instead of "Bangalore", "Location at bangalore" not ending with a period, and the line "Online contact is enough." seriously made me doubt the authenticity of the company. What company deliberately decides to not give their address and if they didn't want to give out their address, why was the line even written?

I would advice people not to take a risk by enrolling in their classes. Pretty sure that they will ask for the Rs. 16000/- via online transfer or via DD, which will make the workings of the company all the more suspicious and with no way of contacting them other then the phone number and the email id I don't think anybody would want to take that risk either.

Avoid the classes people!

Ciao!

Researching.... about Research

Woah! These past few weeks has been crazy!
Looking for universities to study for my Ph.D. in Robotics in USA.
It's like doing a mini (2-week) research, going through all the Ivy League universities and every possible college offering a Ph.D. in the course and finding out the admission criteria for each college.

The process takes a lot out of you. The high standards that are expected of you by the universities (not just the ivy league but mainly all, except maybe community colleges) take that easy going outlook you've had towards studies for your whole life and turn it upside down.

And then the exams that need to be given, mainly TOEFL and GRE. The nervousness of not being able to prepare for them in time, 'cause the dunce that I am, I chose early dates as I wanted to get them over with. Now I wish I hadn't taken the earlier date and had chosen a later date so that I could atleast say that I was completely prepared. Nothing to do now but get down to studying for the TOEFL in August and GRE General in September and GRE CS in November and then applying to the universities in December.

Oh and did I mention the internship I am involved in that basically expects me to work 5 to 6 hours a day minimum till September. I'm also supposed to be helping out in a project in Delhi University that expects me to set up a Robotics Lab for the B.Tech students at the Cluster Innovation Centre at around the same time. Not to mention the research paper I'm supposed to be sending for getting published, but I can't decide which Journal to send it to.

Yep, I think I might be screwed! Took on too much to do at the same time!

I realized, looking at my resume, that I have actually not been free for more than a year now. Since June 2011, life's been an endless exercise in obtaining one certificate after the other, along with my Masters degree, leaving practically no time to socialize. All this would have worked out great if I didn't want to socialize. Though I'm sort of an introvert, there's one person in everyone's life that they want to talk to every single day. All this though leaves no room for even doing that. I think it could take my mind off of studying for a while and get my mind a little fresh, but then I can't take the risk of not studying enough. Can't leave my career hanging on hinges, its what I do, its my passion, its what I see myself doing 20-30 years down the line, the only thing I'm average at and don't want to be a rookie at anymore.

Cheers to hard work!
Hopefully it will pay off one day in the form of a solid resume!

P.S- The only silver lining- come December and I'll be so free that I'll have a hard time figuring out how to spend my time. And then I'll probably spend some time with the people I want. and maybe even travel a little with just a bag-pack on my back and nothing else to hold me down.

P.P.S- These blog posts are not a waste of time and energy, I'm actually preparing for the writing section in TOEFL and GRE. Almost 550 words in 30 minutes. Not bad! Eh?

Crazy Times

We've all done crazy things in our life which we are not proud of. But funnily enough that's never been the case with me. I've done some pretty crazy things in my life and never has it happened that I was unhappy about what I had done.

Take the story of the 'Ladies Restrooms' for example that most of my friends know. And you can probably guess from the title that its not something that I would like to publicly share. But that doesn't mean I'm guilty or regretful about what I have done. In fact, when I make a new friend and am comfortable enough to share my secrets with them, I regale them with the tales of all the crazy things I have done in my life, 'Ladies Restrooms' being one such tale.

But there are some stories of my crazy behavior that I relish more than others. They include:
   'Adventure to the Mall' -How a ride to the local mall was an adventure in itself.
   'Crazy in Love' -The crazy things you do when you are in love (or you think that you are).
   'Orkut fake profile' -One of the classic tales of revenge.
   'Revelation of the 'Orkut fake profile' story' -We had fun even when we were caught.
   'A visit to the nearby haunted house' -We didn't actually get a chance to go in but it was still pretty crazy.
   'The road inspection' - Read about it here. I loved what I did that day.
and many more...

They say: 'Bad decisions make good stories; and I always have a good story.'

True Story!
Cheers to crazy people!

Capricorn... Through and through

I was born on 3rd January, 1989 which puts me right in the middle of the Capricorn Zodiac sign. I have lately observed that everything that is written about a Capricorn's traits, either good or bad, applies directly to my nature.

I regularly follow these accounts on twitter-  @AllAboutCaps, @HeartCapricorn, @ZodiacFacts, and @ZodiacZone and re-tweet most of the stuff about Capricorns that is written on them, if I find that the statements written fit me to a T, which is mostly the case. The traits of Capricorns can be read on these accounts, or on the website that says the following about a Capricorn guy, some of them I am listing, others you can read on the website:

1) He is always enclosed within a strong wall, which is not too easy to breach. CHECK!

2) He is not too gregarious & outgoing, but his personality traits include determination and patience. CHECK!

3) He has fierce ambitions, which he pursues with a strong resolve. CHECK!

4) If you look at him casually, it may seem as if he prefers solitude to company. CHECK!

5) It's just that a Capricorn male is too shy to express his feeling openly. CHECK!

6) Another problem with him is that he doesn't know how to handle compliments. If and when he gets any, he becomes too embarrassed and may pass it off as a joke or ignore it altogether. CHECK!

7) He prefers to maintain a control over his emotions and displays composed manners, realistic actions and somber intentions. CHECK!

8) If you manage to peek inside his heart, you will see a charming person, who loves to dream, likes getting wet in the rain. CHECK!

9) He is a romantic at heart, but these feelings will not get displayed every now and then. As long as you know what he feels for you, it is enough for him. He doesn't need to tell the world that he loves you. You will have to slowly lure him out of his protective shell and encourage him to show his emotions. CHECK!

10) He is one of the few men who are very serious in their youth and tend to relax with age. When all your old classmates start developing wrinkles, he will look as well as act like a college-going guy. CHECK!

11) You will not have to worry much about loyalty. He literally worships family ties and wouldn't sacrifice them for short, meaningless flings. The family means you and the kids as well as his parents and siblings. It is better if you understand this and respect his other family too. You will be expected to be a good wife, good mother, good daughter-in-law and a good cook. CHECK!

12) Since he finds it very difficult to express his emotions, you better start training him in the art of romance at an early stage. CHECK!

13) When something is over for him, it's over forever and he never looks back again. CHECK!

14) Goes best with Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio and Pisces. NOT SURE! Though many of my best friends are actually Scorpions.

So I start to wonder if what I do, what I am, my nature, my habits, is it possible that they are the way they are because I was born on a certain date? The only logical answer I can think of is "NO"! Its not that my birth date, and the alignment of the stars on that day, had something to do with me being a Capricorn, but instead, I believe, my experiences, my childhood, everything I heard or saw in the world led towards me becoming the True Capricorn that I am now. If it hadn't been for those experiences I might not have fit the exact profile of a Capricorn.

The experience in 7th grade that made me grow up overnight into a person who was mature way beyond my own age. Having friends that are fun has let me keep my inner child and the fun loving playful guy inside me alive along with that maturity. The experience with modern day friendships (my own and by observation of other people around me) that led me to become the 'not easily trusting others' kinda guy that I am today. The situations and experiences that span nearly half a decade after my 11th grade which led me to become the guy that was not termed 'shy' anymore and I became a bit more relaxed. Even though in reality I might still be shy somewhere deep down inside. The experience of joining a new school in India, after spending a year completing my 6th grade in the USA, where I once again had nobody that knew me, taught me that if you show your emotion in today's world you would be laughed at. This is mostly why not many people know about all the artistic stuff I do, except my drawings. The traits I inherit from from parents also combined to make me what I am. From my father the traits of being an introvert, hard working, self-reliant, highly perseverant, having a common sense, using the brain that's been given to me to help people when they ask for help even if they later are not appreciative of your it, to be able to make a decision in life and foresee the risks involved if you take that decision and from my mother the traits of seeing through people's bullshit, how to read people and be able to know what goes on in their minds & to know what they feel without ever asking them, being able to judge their nature & their true intentions through their actions, to know when you are being lied to, to be practical in life and in your decisions. All this led me to become the perfect Capricorn that I am today.

This is what I thought, till I found out that according to the Chinese Zodiac I am a 'dragon'. According to a website the traits of a dragon are:

1) "The Dragon is one of the most powerful signs in the Chinese Zodiac. Lucky as well, Dragons are giving, intelligent and tenacious, know exactly what they want and are determined to get it." CHECK!

2) "It's ego that can get in the Dragon's way, but even so, this larger-than-life creature has a knack for initiating projects and keeping the troops motivated. According to Dragons, it's their natural born right to lead the way! As luck would have it, Dragons are likely to achieve considerable material wealth during their lifetime, although they aren't motivated by pursuit of the almighty dollar. Rather, they stick to their guns, even when they're firing blanks." CHECK!

3) "a creature which flails about and refuses to take defeat with even a modicum of grace. Question authority? That's our Dragon!" CHECK!

Now I don't know what to think! :P

Cheers to the Capricorns around the world.

Hulk Angry!! ..... But Why?!

Why is the Hulk always angry?
I have wondered this for  some time now! Why is it that when Bruce Banner turns into the Green Monster he, for the most part, has no emotion except anger.

Well I found the answer in an unexpected situation. I was going through the closet where I keep my clothes and had to rush out of home real fast so I picked up my favorite blue jeans that fit me quite well 2 weeks ago, when I wore them last. I wore it and went out of the house to the local market for some chores. By the time I came back to the house, nearly 30 minutes later, I was pretty angry too. See, over the past 2 weeks I've been eating like a maniac and sitting in a chair while coding, and as it turns out I've put on 2 kgs. My favorite pants, in size 32 waist, do not fit me anymore. I had lost a lot of weight in the last year (around 10 kgs) so that I had been wearing these pants after a period of 4 years, and I had been wearing them for a few months now. And now I don't fit into them anymore... AGAIN! Good thing I have a favorite blue jeans in 34 waist size which I get to wear now, and 36 waist size too which I'll get to wear again, soon it seems.

No wonder The Hulk is always angry. He has to wear pants which are the size that Bruce Banner wears. They are too tight for The Hulk. Every time he transforms into the Hulk he finds himself in Bruce's pants and never pants that are his size. He keeps wearing such tight pants for too long and its bound to cause him some medical defects. I'd be angry too if I had to wear tight pair of pants for too long, and even angrier if it was not my own decision to do so. My pants were only a few inches small for me now, and I was mad. Hulk's pants are waaaay too small for his size, I can imagine his anger. No wonder he likes to smash stuff, probably can't get those skin tight pants off of himself and has to take out his frustrations somehow.

Love The Hulk! The angrier he gets, the better!!
Cheers.... To tight pants!!

Trick Dating

So I've recently come across some of the tricks that guys play to get the girls to go out with them.
I am a fan of the dating game, (a meet-cute, leads to a crush, then date, fall in love and marry... that kinda stuff) but hate that many guys are out their cheating to get girls to fall into relationships; so genuinely nice guys who actually like girls are short handed in such a situation.

Here's the detail of  'The Trick' that guys are using now-a-days. They use this trick not only on single girls, but also on girls who might be in a happy relationship (long-distance or not, doesn't matter). I know guys who have actually done this while they were "supposedly" in a committed relationship with another girl. It is the most commonly used and probably the most effective trick out there being used by guys in colleges (mostly) and is broken down into following steps-

Step 1. They usually go for the girl that they see everyday. Like a classmate in college or a co-worker.

Step 2. They build a friendship with the girl. (No harm in that. Make as many girl-friends as you like. Even I have a healthy number of girls as friends). How they do this? If the girl stays mostly with a group of girls, then the guy will get close to all the girls in the group. He then takes a week or two, choosing the best girl from the group. By 'best' I mean the one he believes is a little less mature and more likely to fall for his trick.

Step 3. They become the girl's best friend. Talking with them every single day for more than a few hours. Getting to know everything there is to know about that girl. Sharing secrets from the start just so the girl will trust them. Even if they are friends with the whole group of girls there is only one girl in the group who knows his secrets (By Chance? No way! Planned move? You bet!). Now personally I don't do that unless I want to be just friends with the girl. Even then I don't share all my secrets too soon. If I have a crush on someone, it is likely that though I would love to talk to them for hours, I don't really get the time to do it often.
Why is this a trick? Bad boys do not make girls their friends. Genuine nice guys though like to be friends with girls will usually have a best friend that is a guy. The guys using this trick have a guy best friend but will become an important part of the girl's daily routine and are not really her best friend. If anything they probably tell everything the girl tells them, to their guy friend and laugh at the stuff together. Really shy guys don't even talk to girls all that much; speaking when spoken to and making acquaintances at the most.

Step 4. Wait till the time the girl starts to love their company so much that she starts missing them if they don't talk to her every day. Its actually not that the girl misses them, its that she starts to wonder why he is suddenly not talking to them as much as he used to. Why would he pull away for no reason what so ever. They've gotten used to their daily talking about their feeling with the guy. Its not the guy they miss, its the guy's ability to listen, his advice giving and caring nature, and the routine. And YES, this nature can be faked by guys; girls can fake other stuff (if you know what I mean) guys can fake-care.

Step 5. This is the main step. When the guy realizes the power he now has he starts to pull away just a little. Like not talking for just a day. This makes the girl crazy. It makes her think why the talks have lessened and all other types of questions. Why in the beginning, no matter how busy he was, he always had time to talk to her about every single thing in his daily life (Not true. He would never tell you everything that goes on in his mind. He will tell you what he thinks he needs to tell you to gain your trust, to make you see he is a nice trustworthy kinda guy.) and why suddenly he is busy these days and doesn't have time to talk.

Step 6. This is when the guy proposes her. It may happen a few days after they became best friends, a few months, or even a year after (at the max). It makes her think. Her reply is usually "I don't wanna ruin our friendship. I just want to be friends with you. You are my best friend etc. etc.". This reply is usually expected by the guy. Unless the feeling is mutual (and genuine) from the start, the guy usually expects this.

Step 7. Now starts the second main step of the trick. He goes out of touch with her. No he doesn't play hard to get. He absolutely refuses to talk to her. Tells her he can't talk to her. Tells her he can't be "just friends" with her anymore. What happens because of this? The girl goes to her girl-friends for advice, and most of them being the emotional beings that girls are, they advice the girl to try and talk to the guy and try and make him her friend again. During the same time the guy is busy putting up "Senti status" on facebook. Sending "senti- smses" to the mutual friends (basically girls) he shares with the girl. This is again a trick! It doesn't matter how long the guy is away. There are chances it may be months before he talks to the girl again (because he knows that whatever the case may be, she will eventually talk to him).

Step 8. The girl talks to the guy, almost pleading him to be "just friends" with her again. He absolutely refuses. Then he slyly says that he will try. No he won't. He's got the same agenda as before- To trick you. So now the girl and the guy start talking again on a daily basis with the same frequency that they shared in the beginning.
The girl thinks it was a phase for the guy. But is wasn't a phase. What the guy has really done so far is:
 a) Became one of the most important part of the girl's life. The girl probably loves the routine, the shoulder always there to cry on, and the ear always ready to listen.
 b) In his absence, made her miss him like crazy. The girl misses all the talking and sharing.
 c) Told her that he likes her as something more than a friend. This ignites confusion in the girl about what she feels for him. Was all the talking they did really love like he says. (I think NOT!)
 d) He pulled away from her because it was too painful for him to be "just" her friend. Bullshit! It makes the girl miss him. Giving her a false sense of love, and confusing her further.
 e) Now that the girl is talking to him again, this means she thinks its okay if he says stuff like "you are mine" or "I hate that guy and how close you are to him" or my personal favorite "That guy is not good for you" in case he sees another guy as a threat, because she thinks he is just expressing himself. He for no apparent reason, out of the blue, sometimes while wishing her a good night, says to her: "I love you" or most likely its varied versions, like: "luv u", "love u", "ILU", "<3" and so on. This makes the girl think about her feelings. She never says it back to the guy. He doesn't expect it and doesn't stop saying it even if she tells him that she doesn't feel the same way. He is busy planning the next move, he doesn't care if you don't say it back right now.

Step 9. The final step in the trick. The Re-Proposal. Taking advantage of all the confusion that he has generated in the girl's mind and the hold he has on her emotionally, and the fact that she wanted to make him talk to her again and pleaded her to be in her life once more, he proposes the girl again. That's right! Even after being rejected by the girl the first time he proposes her. Even after knowing that the girl wants to be just friends with him, he proposes her. And the magic happens. She accepts!

How? What he does is, wait for an opportune moment for the re-proposal. Maybe a parting after college ends, a party where they go together, some where they are alone, or maybe once again over the phone. He tells her some bullshit, the crux of which is, making her believe that "What we have is love and not friendship". This time, the girl accepts. Why?
  1) She thinks it wasn't a phase for him. He must like her to be able to find the courage like this to propose to her again. Bullshit! I could go to any girl and tell her "I love you", and not genuinely mean it and not even give my lie away. In such a situation I would be confident and not nervous at all. A real admission of feeling is one where the guy is nervous, is forced by his best friends to go to the girl, legs becoming water and buckling underneath when saying the actual words and talking to the girl, because there is fear of rejection in his heart, no matter how cool he thinks he is with the ladies (has happened only once with me, not too long ago... Does not apply to bad "douche-bag" boys).
  2) He is telling her the truth because has never lied to her before, right? WRONG! He has always lied to her, she just didn't see it then. She can't differentiate between his lies and his truths because she's never seen him say the truth about his feelings or doesn't want to admit that he would lie to her about his feelings.
  3) He IS her best friend, and all those Bollywood movies she's been watching since childhood have told her that love starts with friendship, right? WRONG! Love starts when the feeling is mutual. NOT when the guy loves her, and she wanted him as a friend for life. She thinks that he means it. And we all know that 'marry the one who loves you, not the one you love'. But the truth is 'marry the one who loves you and whom you love as much in return'.
This is the start of their "relationship", and the end of his "trick". The relationship will end one day. No marriage for them. Break-up is inevitable. It may last a few months, a few years, but it will end. Most likely the day the guy finds a new "target".

The trick is plain. Its simple. Its elegant. And yet it makes me nauseous to see what guys do. They give all guys a bad name. Treat women like objects for all their life and get away with it. They don't suffer after the breakup;the girl does, and she blames all men of being the same. How could you know we are the same if you've only ever met a vermin like this guy? The bad part about this is for the guy who may fall for his best friend, and might be seen as a degenerate if she has previously gone through a similar situation that ended badly.

Cheers to the guys out there that genuinely like a girl and don't play such dirty games to get them and actually have a heart! and I feel your pain Bro! Stay strong, the girl for you is out there, and if you are lucky will not fall for her best-guy-friend's tricks. Keep a lookout if you are in a relationship; There might just be a guy-friend out there who is ready to ruin your happiness with your girl.

Idiots: They live amongst us!

Some people are PURE idiots!! Plain Simple Truth!! No 2 ways about it!!
And I am not talking about the good kind of idiots that were shown in the movie '3 Idiots'. No! I am talking about the NOT retarded, fully functional members of society that don't have an ounce of common sense running through their bodies! (Not taking into account, how good they are in studies)


No matter how much you try to open up their eyes to the reality, they prefer to live in a dreamland!
A place where everything is hunky-dory. Where they get to wear the rose colored glasses over their eyes and forget about the reality of life. Where they think that there exists only light, and no darkness in their fellow human beings.


They never learn from their mistakes! And there is no cure for people who never learn from their mistakes the first time.

Like it is said: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Though I read a version of this quote on twitter which I personally think is better: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again. And stop picking on me, I'm clearly an idiot.


But such people will always be picked on. Its non-debatable. Its simple natural selection. They make the wrong decisions their whole lives and so they will eventually die out. Gullible and impressionable to the core, they run with those who are cunning enough to recognize their lack of common sense, and have all the intentions of using them for their own purposes and on fulfillment of that purpose discarding them as damaged human beings to fend for themselves in the big bad world. And yet, these gullible creatures fall into the hands of either the same cunning master manipulator again, or some other bigger, better, manipulator of such fickle minds.

The best way to keep your own sanity, when coming in contact with such people, is to let them live in their own world, and never think about their well being. Forget about them completely if you can, the sooner the better. Such people cannot change. They have the maturity of a 3 year old and there is no point trying to help them grow up. It will take time and effort on your part to try and show them the truth about the world, to try and make them grow up but the end result will still be what it was before you started helping them. So all your work goes down the drain and the amount of knowledge that goes into their brain amounts to ZERO.

It is my opinion that when people want to commit suicide (figuratively of course... in a way where they do not recognize a bad situation even if it is happening with them for the 10th time and head into that situation with a completely empty mind), and you have done all you can to prevent it, and they still want to do it, then it is better to let them do it and not stop them.


There is no way to make them understand, no way to make them see the reality, no way to make them face the harshness of it, because (you guessed it) they are IDIOTS! And so cannot comprehend any advice you might have to offer such lost souls.

Stay Safe!
Stay Clear of Idiots!
Stay Happy!

International Love

So I hear the "International Love" song all the time. Don't get me wrong I like the song, but the lyrics?

"You put it down like New York City, I never sleep!

Wild like Los Angeles, My fantasy!

Hotter than Miami, I feel the Heat!

ohohhohhh.... It's Intenational Love!" 

New York City, Los Angeles, and Miami. Together they don't even cover the whole of USA, how is this song supposed to be about "International" Love?! And every time I heard it recently, I couldn't help but picture this in my mind (and so I created it):

Death... It makes me weird

Hearing the news of death of a friend's family member always leaves me speechless.
Me: Hey, where you been, haven't heard from you in a week.
Friend says: so and so member of my family died.  Did you finish that thing you were doing?


What do I say to the friend after that?
Do I make him/her feel better by sitting with them and talking about it?
Or do I offer my condolences and make them feel better by cheering them up with jokes? Is dark-humor (jokes about death and stuff) appropriate at such a time?


Let's look at some of the options that you have, that people generally use at such a time, to make their friends feel better-
"I'm sorry for your loss"- Why would I be sorry? I didn't kill them! I'm not guilty of anything, nor do I have a guilty conscience relating to the matter, so why would I apologize? (people use the word sorry quite liberally these days, I don't get why that is! I almost never use it!). I don't even know if the friend is sorry for his or her own loss... maybe they weren't that close to the relative, and haven't even seen or talked to them in years. Maybe they are sociopaths who don't even feel sad when a relative dies and just mentioned the death to me in passing. You never know! How well could you know a friend, really?
"That's sad"- For you, not me, so do I make a sad face when I say this or do I smile reassuringly (and awkwardly) hoping that it cheers them up too. 
If they happen to mention some other topic of discussion along with the death, do I just skip over the news of death and talk, concentrating on the other topic?


So many questions going over in my mind. Can't decide what to do or say. So I just say, "Oh damn! too bad! How do you feel?". This seems to take the pressure off of me, and puts it on them. Now they gotta tell me if they feel sad or not. That way I can know if they are sociopaths or not. If they are actually sad, I get to know that jokes would probably not be a good idea. And that I need to cheer them up. And if they are not affected by the death, then I can probably make some jokes about death in general (sometimes I have a dark sense of humor, which I enjoy... other times I just have a normal sense of humor, that I use to make people laugh), or completely skip the topic and chat about something else.
But till I ask the question "How do you feel?" there's always an awkward pause and silence in the air, for fear that something inappropriate will slip out of my mouth without my knowledge. And that silence is what makes the whole situation weird.


P.S.- A really amazing girl (who is like my personal kryptonite... in a good way of course. Its not like over-exposure to her will eventually kill me, its just that I lose some of my "superpowers" in front of her.) told me recently, after reading the posts on this blog, that I should filter my thoughts more. Oh! and that I write well. And that my English is better than most guys ;) you won't believe the smile I had on my face at that time :P But I digress... 
Actually I do, I think at least 3 times before I speak; because of which some people know me as the brooding type. I don't like to lie, so when people ask me something I have to decide whether to tell them the truth, or just keep my mouth shut and try to successfully change the topic. But when the situation demands immediate responses, I sometimes forget to filter out my thoughts and say what ever comes to my mind first. Some people, because of this, know me as a person who speaks his mind, and doesn't lie.
I'm a bundle of contradictions, and its all weird!

Ciao!!!
Till next time.
(By which I mean till the time I get a new weird thought like this one. Or have one of those amazing bike accidents I enjoy so much. Whichever comes first.)

J. J. Corp. is here for robotics!

So, I recently decided to build my own robotics company. That's right! I'm the founder of a company. What have you done lately?

J. J. CORP. 

That's my company!
The first thing I asked myself, that I should do, when I open up a company is that the company should have a website. But i'm a student, how can I afford to pay yearly, or monthly, for a domain name. (people would say, ask your parents for the money, but I don't want to do that)
So that's when weebly.com came in handy. I could build and launch my own website FOR FREE. Cool!!

So what am I going to do now that I have the website set up?


Our company, is soon going to start workshops and seminars for beginners in 'Robotics' and 'Embedded Systems'. If you are a school teacher who wants to introduce your students to robotics, well we are what you've been looking for. With robotics, its never too early to start.

For details about the workshops and seminars, check out the news, and blog on our website www.jjcorp.weebly.com and feel free to contact us at any time.


Ciao!

New

I was just going through my book of quotes when I read this thing I had written a while back...

You are with me when I eat, you are with me when I pray, you are with me every single moment of every day...you are with me when i'm on the ground, you are with me when I climb up a tree, would you atleast leave me alone when I go to pee. :P

Desi Spiderman!!!!! Awesome!!!!

According to me, the award for the BEST WORST MOVIE EVER goes to 'desi spiderman', hands down!. It's probabaly the most hilarious crap i've ever seen.

It's full of overacting people. Here are the you-tube links for the parts of the movie and the special song that I love :D

Part 1- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTO1chxWMPI&feature=related

Part 2- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRY42TMxn1c&feature=fvw

Part 3- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODn-8XlSb4I&feature=related

Part 4- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVMtv7rd3-g&feature=related

Part 5- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61kPqfrtkEE&feature=related

Song- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-RW3nUHs8g

He he he!!! Ha ha ha!!!! Ho ho ho!!!!! Yo yo yo?!??!?!

This is the profile of the most famous upcoming rapper from India (or so he claims) :D

Hopesh Dangal (HOPP DOGG)-
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001337297019

Do read it!
When I shared this link on my facebook wall people cracked up laughing. Since i'm known in my family to be the only decent rapper (or probably the only person who loves to rhyme stuff), a relative of mine asked me to write a rap of my own that could compete with Hopp Dogg's abysmal rap, and I did.
Here's the rap (Hopp dogg style :P)
Relative: dude you should rap... you can do better than hopesh.
Me:
But I can only rap YO!
and only Hopesh can sing such crap YO!
Hopesh pe lagna chahiye heavy fine YO!
Iska rap hai bahut bada crime YO!
Jaldi hi main ZOO me jaunga YO!
Hopesh ko wahan bharti karwaunga YO!
cuz he thinks he is cool YO!
the dude is a bloody fool YO!
the lyrics of his rap SUCK
HOPP DOGG is out of LUCK.
Oh Santa! take him away in your toy sack.
Hopesh ko koi batao k J.C. just struck back!
YO!

(in case you are wondering who this J.C. is, and why the hell his name is in the rap, then I should tell you that J.C. is my rapper name. YO! :P)

Accident Number 4! a.k.a. The road inspection :P

Date- 29th December, 2010

Place- Near Janakpuri West Metro Station
Description-
There's been a lot of fog in Delhi lately, as I've read in the news papers, but I haven't even ventured out of my room (been watching episodes from all the seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S... again), let alone the house, so I had no idea just how bad it was. My phone, Samsung F-480, has been acting up for the last 2 days, it keeps getting hanged, so I decide to finally stop being a lazy-ass-bum and get it fixed from the nearest HotSpot from my home.


As I am riding my Apache moving toward B-1 Janakpuri, barely 5 minutes out of my house, an uncle (in my left side) decides to cross the road without looking anywhere in the horrible fog. To avoid hitting him I had to swerve my bike to the right. There was a Tata Indica moving along side me, so I had to cut in front of it to avoid hitting either the uncle or the car. As I take a cut ahead of the Indica, I totally blank out! I have nothing but darkness in front of my eyes! And then I open my eyes a little and realize that my bike is spinning on the road, and there are sparks flying out from where the left handle is touching the road surface while I'm on my back and spinning with the bike, and I feel my 'keski' getting loose and flying off my head. I close my eyes again for a second, as if I'm just blinking, and when I open them again I realize that this time the left side of my face is touching the road, and I see the road surface from so close that the memory of it will haunt me for ever! I close my eyes again and after 2-3 seconds I finally stop spinning. I try getting up ... and miraculously I can! I stand and see that a crowd has assembled around me, thankfully people behind me had applied brakes to avoid hitting me and some people come to pick up my bike. I move towards the side of the road after somebody hands me my 'keski' and I tie my 'juda' while another guy stops his bike and picks up my bike from the middle of the road and brings it towards me and I thank him.


I sit on my bike, and start tying my 'keski' by looking in its right rear view mirror and now, almost 40 seconds after I got up from the road, I'm smiling! Not because i've hit my head on the road and gone crazy, but because I'm thankful to God that I wasn't on my Enfield bullet when the accident happened, and the fact that I'm still alive! The people who came to help me up, are looking at me like I'm some kind of a weirdo, they think I'm smiling because I've not been injured. It's quite dark, so they can't see my injuries. One person says to me: "Thank God that you didn't get any injuries!" and I look at him and say (while smiling): "I did get injuries! Look at my face!" and he looks more closely, and is shocked! Then the crowd starts to thin, and as I finish tying my 'keski' I kick start my bike. It still works! so I give it a good acceleration while it's in neutral to check everything out...seems some nuts and bolts of gone loose cuz the rear fender is making some noises, but nothing so serious that the bike can't be ridden. I move towards HotSpot, cuz that was what I had left my house for, with the cold breeze stinging my face I brave the cold and the pain and ride, all the while thanking God! I reach HotSpot, give them my phone and clean up some dirt from my face in their bathroom while they make a receipt for when the phone is to be delivered back to me. All the while, the customers and the employees in  the shop keep staring at me, because I'm bleeding from both my hands, my left leg and my face; my jacket was torn along with my jeans, and I'm standing there (with difficulty as the adrenaline starts to wear off a little) with a smile on my face like you've never seen. I leave from there 15 minutes later, dreading the ride home. Halfway home I decide to visit the doctor myself. He applies antiseptic on my face and my knees, gives me some medicine, gives me a tetanus vaccine but can't put bandage on my face as I need to keep the injury open and allow it to come in contact with air or it may leave a scar (he says). After that I was good to go.

Good thing I was wearing my contact lenses at the time, if I had been wearing my glasses, there would most likely be small shards of glass and plastic embedded in my eye and face. Also glad that the sparks from the handle & road were not too close to the eye when I had my eye opened, or it might have melted those contact lenses (who knows).


Got back home, and scared the shit out of my parents when they saw my face 5 minutes after I entered into the house, cuz I had gone straight to my room.  They were watching some saas-bahu program and so it was easy to slip into my room as they were busy with the telly and probably didn't expect me to turn up home the way I did and so the injury went unnoticed. Besides I hadn't seen the complete damage to my face myself, so I wanted to be sure beforehand that it wouldn't give them a heart attack if they saw it or gross them out :P


This was one of my worst accidents.... but I like to say "the worst accident, so far" cuz there might be an accident one day that'll probably really hurt me, so that i end up in a hospital bed with a fracture or two, or worse. But it will be the accident that'll remain in my memory (if not in my memory, in case I ever get amnesia, then surely on this blog) FOREVER!


The following is the status (and the comments that I received on it) that I posted on Facebook when I got home (yes, I was a facebook addict once who had to post everything in his life... but I got over it):


‎45 mins ago I was in the biggest accident that I have ever been in... and I walk away from it like I always do- scratched, badly bruised, but still standing, and smiling.


Monica: oye wot happened..
Me: slipped from bike......
aaj to pehli baar itni chot lagi hai k kuch kehne ki hadd nahi.

Monica: hey bhagwan paagal aadmi.. kiske khayaalo me tha.. jo control nai raha.. lolzz. nywaz ab kya kahu.. u already injured.. dhyan rakha kar professor..

Me:  bahut zyada injured yaar!!!!

itni buri haalat meri aaj tak nahi hui

Parul: brave boy still smiling

Himanshi: oye hath chod k bike chalyega to kya hoga....

rest kr n get wel soon...

Simran: Take care veer..

:)

Me:‎ @parul- kal apni smiling wali pic bhi upload karunga.... it's the silliest smile in the world!!!! :P

@himanshi- haath chod k chalate time kabhi nahi girta main.... jab dono haathon se chalata hun tabhi girta hun

@simran- I will buddy! but now, i think it's time to take my medicine :P

Parul: yeah sure

MY FACE THE NEXT DAY!

Some ways in which I described the accident when everybody started asking -"kya hua?"(What happended?).

FYI: I like to give different answers to the same question, when asked again and again. It keeps me amused.

1. road bahut achchi thi yaar, uspe apna face rub karne ka mann kiya.... to galti se zyada rub ho gaya :P :D

2. gives new meaning to the expression i use when i'm riding my bike- "just me, my bike and the open road!" :P

3. road inspection ho gayi kal... bahut paas se dekha maine road ko...infact 2-3 second tak dekha, before i closed my eyes... kaafi achchi aur tough road hai... hum log aise hi govt ki burai karte hain :P

4. what a smashing end to the first decade of the 21st century! :D

5. The road and I had a fight. I body-slammed the road and the road punched me in the face! It was declared a tie! :P

Me

My Self-Summary:
I have skills like... burping the alphabets, laughing like Goofy and Mickey Mouse, computer hacking skills, whistling in several different styles, fighting with chopsticks... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills, right? ;)

What I'm Doing with My Life:

Trying to think up new ways to rule the world >:)
and when ever I get time from day dreaming, I study a little :P

If something intrigues me, I direct my whole mind towards it and in the end usually find out that I am wicked awesome at it! That's how I got good at dancing, sketching, and a bunch of other stuff (mostly self taught). If I don't want to do something and people order me to do it then I become lazy as hell (Lazy! Ha! That's what I have them believe! Truth is I really despise doing something that I'm just not interested in and take a lot of time than usual to do the work all the while hoping that the person would get irritated, leave me alone and get the work done by someone else) consequently implying that I'm not the kind of guy to work at a 9 to 5 job that I hate, working on making software applications that I have no clue how to (even though I'm an engineer in Computer Science and am doing a M.Sc. in the same field doesn't mean I like it, I've got other stuff planned)! I persevere like crazy when I set my mind to something, never knowing when it's okay to stop, even if it looks like I'm losing.

I'm Really Good at:
Cooking... i'm no 5-star restaurant chef but I can survive if i'm left alone. I specialize in sandwiches.

Thumb fights and Tic-Tac-Toe.

Drawing good sketches of the people I like... and drawing funny cartoons of people I don't... in which they usually end up being killed by a bazooka-carrying-matchstick man :D

The first things people usually notice about me:
Apparently I have naughty eyes... I don't know how people notice that... but they somehow do.

My favorite books, movies, music and food:
Books- I read anything that has an interesting cover ( that's right... I judge a book by it's cover )... from Harry Potter to Sherlock Holmes to The Theory of Everything to Chicken Soup for the Soul. Don't be surprised if you find me reading a comic book once in a while ( I can't help it! They have really interesting covers ).

Movies- Comedy movies that make you laugh till your stomach hurts OR till you pee in your pants and have to be escorted out of the movie by the theater staff :D

Shows- I watch crime shows Dexter, Psych, Castle, Lie to Me etc. ( so that I can gain knowledge on how to kill people and get away with it ) and comedy shows and sitcoms How I met your mother, Friends, Big Bang Theory, Comedy Circus and the like ( just in case I do get caught, I would like to know some nice jokes so that it gets easy to make friends. The crowd in the slammer is really tough to please, I hear. Who knows, maybe someday they'll even let me into their exclusive gang. ) Ironically, I've never seen Prison Break nor have any desire whatsoever, to do so anytime soon. I watch cartoons too ( like Simpsons, Shinchan, been a long time since I saw it but still- Pokemon ) because some girls have told me I look like a cartoon myself sometimes, but frankly, I just never see the resemblance.

Songs- Any song in Hindi, Punjabi or English... I guess that's because these are the only three languages that I understand. The song should have good, meaningful lyrics OR just have a dozen half-naked girls gyrating their hips in the video of the song, in which case I'd most likely watch the video with the volume on mute so the language doesn't really matter then (Hey! At least I don't pretend that I don't watch such videos or am only watching them because the song is catchy).

Food- A vegetarian with a twist. Just thinking about some types of food makes me hungry... Pizza, Chocolate cake... mmmm... Chocolate cake... oh crap! my keyboard has drool all over it!

The six things I could never do without:
Chocolates & Pizza- If they were illegal i'd gladly spend the rest of my life in prison ( I'd probably have to fashion a shank/shiv out of an unused spoon or something to survive there, but it would be worth it! ) Just kidding! But seriously, if you touch the chocolate cake/pastry that's on my plate, I will kill you!

Laughing so hard that whatever i'm drinking comes out of my nose. I do a lot of stuff that people call crazy. I personally just don't know when I should be afraid of doing something that society frowns upon.

Drawing silly cartoons and hoping to magically wake up with super-powers someday. Even if I don't get super-powers its okay as long as I can get my hands on all the cool stuff that Batman has.

The feeling of sitting on a beach looking at the sun going down... or under the night sky looking at the Moon and the stars... or the crazy feeling I get when I'm riding my bike in the rain.

Running around like a hyper kid, who has eaten lots of sugar.

My friends (I know friends are not "things", I just can't think of anything funny to say at the moment... My mind is off wandering at a beach with those half-naked girls from the music videos).


I spend a lot of time thinking about:
What I would do with my awesome super-powers... would I use them for good or would I be a super-villain?... I guess I would use them for good... unless I had the power of being invisible... then I can't promise anything ;)

And also... How the hell did the donkey from 'Shrek' get that dragon pregnant... Does anybody know the answer to this?? You would be helping me out in solving the biggest riddle of our time, if you do.

On a typical Friday night I am:
Out with my mostly crazy ( and sometimes weird ) friends... going places we never knew existed before.

The most private thing i'm willing to admit:
I have a HUGE...
...
...
...

HUGE P...
...
...
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HUGE PE...
...
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HUGE PEN...
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...
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HUGE PEN and COIN Collection...

What were you thinking? /:)


Find me on Facebook-
http://www.facebook.com/Jasmeet.JC

Tricky Facebook Application

I read a newspaper article, in the Hindustan times's HtCity section,  this morning about how a facebook application, called -'Who is checking my profile?' , that  tells you the people in your friend list who visit your profile and how some people have formed hate groups against this application.

What these people, obviously dumb( you'll know why in a second), have failed to realize is that what the application does is ensures that you visit that person's profile even if you haven't been doing so in the past.

How does it do that? Well suppose for example that you receive a notification that says: "(put the name of your friend here)" has tagged you in a 'photo', which is obviously done by the application, and you get another notification that says: "(your friend's name)" has just commented on a photo of you, again done by the application. No matter what you do, you'll surely check out that photo and want to know the comments that have been written underneath that photo, which is obviously placed in the profile that you 'claim' to not have visited in a long time.

So what has the application really done... it did what it says. The application is named "Who 'IS CHECKING' my profile?"....see it says 'is checking' and not 'has checked'. So get over it. It's obviously fun, 'cuz people visit, that profile, even when they don't want to, just because they can't get over their own curiosity of what kind of a photo they were tagged in and what comments have been received. So all this application really does is exploit your own need to know what people think about you. Don't go blaming the application just because you got fooled.

Peace.

Signed
Jasmeet Singh

Some quotes I just had to modify:

* All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
CHANGED TO-
All true wisdom is found on girl's T-shirts. That's why boys are stupid...for fear of being caught staring.

* If you want to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes.
CHANGED TO-
If you want to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes; and if someone criticizes you, hit them with yours.

* When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
CHANGED TO-
When life gives you lemons make lemonade and sell it; When life doesn't give you lemons, pee in a jar and sell it off as lemonade.

* If you want people to think well of you, do not speak well of yourself.
CHANGED TO-
If you want people to think well of you, promote yourself.

* Keep your temper,nobody wants it.
CHANGED TO-
Keep your temper, so you can use it later on you Ex.

* Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.
CHANGED TO-
Before you ask more questions, think about whether you are ready for cross questioning.

* He who laughs last might not want to be left out. -Jasmeet Singh.

* He who laughs last probably had to be explained in sign language. -Jasmeet Singh.

* You can move the world with an idea, but you have to think of it first.
CHANGED TO-
You can move the world with an idea, but you can't move a cup with your mind.

* He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself  is enlightened. -Lao Tsu.
CHANGED TO-
He who knows himself is enlightened. He who knows others can manipulate them.

* Laugh and the world stares at you; cry and you'll be in an asylum next. -Jasmeet Singh.

* A witty saying proves nothing. -Voltaire.
CHANGED TO-
A witty saying proves nothing, but it sure keeps people entertained.

* It is Common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. -Franklin D. Roosevelt.
CHANGED TO-
It is Common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But most people don't have a common sense.

* The questions remain the same, the answers are eternally variable.
CHANGED TO-
The questions are eternally variable, but the answer remains the same -"I don't know".

* Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
CHANGED TO-
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Lo and behold!!!! I have arrived.

* A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. -Patton.
CHANGED TO-
A perfect plan today, will still be a good plan tomorrow.

Some of my Original Quotes:

* Enemies are just backstabbing friends.

* There is no such thing as a failed relationship, only failed people.

* If you can't make your poem rhyme, don't try the next time.

* Riding hard on your bike may fail to impress some girls. But falling hard from it will definitely get their attention.  -This quote was a result of a accident I had (The one where my head almost hit a pillar. Read the first post).

* It's not the person whose heart you touched that'll remember you forever when you are gone.; but it's the one you forgot to mention in your final WILL.

* Time is the most precious thing...and since I've been wasting most of it my whole life, that makes me pretty darn rich.

* Why make your own mistakes when you can learn from where other people went wrong?

* Love is life, love is pure. What is Love? I'm not sure.

* Women complain that men are not attentive enough towards them. They don't realize that if we were, we'd tell you exactly how FAT you look in THAT dress.

* I don't feel the need to go back to my childhood like other people....'cuz I never left.

* Of all the people I know, I love ME the most.

* "I Don't Love You Anymore". But my shrink says I'm currently in a state of denial.

* It's biting cold outside and it's biting me in all the wrong places.

* Learn to laugh...If you don't laugh then you are just another species in the Animal Kingdom, except hyenas, but they are creepy.

* I prefer to be weird in my own time. That way I get to be known as a genius in the ages to come.

* It happened again today, as it has happened before. That damn cupid's arrow got me right in the ASS. Why he does this? I'm not yet sure.

* I was never told how to lie. I learned so well on my own.

* If you are ever going to cry in life, make sure that they are tears of joy.

* Your love is in my blood, it's in my heart and soul, Loving you is life, it's my one and only goal.

* You don't have to like me, I don't even care if you do. All I know is I LOVE YOU, & and this love is really true.

* (Punjabi) Saade warga aashiq na koi si te na koi ayega, hun ranjha, mirza, punnu, ton pehlan (Jas)Meet da naa litta jayega.

* (Hindi) Past ko le ke rote rahoge, aur future ki chinta karte rahoge to present me kaise jee paoge?

* If GOD exists I want to see Him,
   I want to know, why does He hide?
   Does He have lots of pimples on His face,
   OR is He severely cross-eyed?!

*What's the use of racing if you don't give your opponent a head start?!

Some quotes i love:

* When I cry I see you in my tears, but I clean my tears therefore no one can see you.

* Cogito ergo sum- I think therefore I am.

* I like being single, I am always there when I need me. -Art Leo.

* If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

* It's not whether you win or loose, it's how you place the blame.

* A day without sunshine is like night.

* Even the best of friends can't attend each other's funerals.

* Time sure flies when you don't know what you are doing.

* Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world. -Richard Armour.

* Laugh and the world ignores you, crying doesn't help either.

* If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. -Lawrence J. Peter.

* If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? -Lily Tomlin.

*All that glitters has a high refractive index.

* Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

* Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

* He who laughs last missed the punch line.

* When the speaker and to whom he speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics. -Voltaire.

* Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur - whatever is said in latin sounds profound.

* A mushroom cloud has no silver lining.

* Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

* If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

* Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is Mystery, Today is a gift, that's why it's called Present.

* Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls...if thou art in the bathtub, it tolls for thee.

* Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. -Jerome K. Jerome.

* Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her. -Vanbrugh

* In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be n love with someone else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. -Russell Baker.

* Life is too short to be taken seriously. -Oscar Wilde.

* The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no GOD. -Woody Allen.

* I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs. -Larry Lee.

* I Love You not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. -Roy Croft.

* When god saw how faulty was man, He tried again and made woman. As to why he then stopped there are 2 opinions. One of them is woman's. -De Gourmont.

* Mother is the need of all inventions. -Calvin and Hobbes.

* Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.

* (Hindi) Hawa khilaf thi, chirag bhi khoob jala, khuda bhi hone ke kya kya saboot deta hai.

* Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

* (Hindi) Maine koshish to bahut ki use bhulane ki, chhod useki yaad kisi aur ko chahne ki. Lekin jitna bhoolta tha, utni yaad aati thi wo. Ye ada bhi ajeeb hai unki hume tadpane ki.

* (Punjabi) Kithe challi hain gobi da ful ban ke...kudiye badami rangiye.

* Think only that which you have to do. Do what you have to say and if it is a must, say only that which you have to do.

* Fall from a tree top, fall from above, fall from everywhere, but never fall in love.

* It is better to understand a little than misunderstand a lot.

* I can never put it till tomorrow when I can possibly do the day after.

* Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. -Socrates